today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
I will never make it.
I’m so done with this planet
she saved two lives and all they care about is her nipple.
this is sexism, my friends.
This is just fucking ridiculous! I’m sure the last thing she gave a shit about was her nipple coming out while she was SAVING HER CHILD AND THEIR NANNY!
I hate it when you’re walking along and you suddenly become really self-conscious about the way you are walking so you concentrate on walking normally and just end up like
when you sit attentively in class but you dont understand a thing the teacher is saying
WHY CAN’T I JUST BE HAPPY FOR MY FUCKING WONDERFUL FRIENDS INSTEAD OF MAKING IT ABOUT ME AND GETTING UPSET? WHY CAN’T I DO THAT? WHY CAN’T I REACT TO GOOD NEWS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE A NORMAL FIXING HUMAN BEING?
I can’t deal with this shit that I’m fine with 90% of the time but that suddenly and unexpectedly upsets me for reason because it’s getting to the stage where I just randomly want to curl up and cry for the stupidest things that aren’t problems at all, I mean sometimes they’re actually happy things for people I love but the sorry shitty part me gets upset because the good things aren’t happening to me. Just eurgh, I want something good to happen and I feel bad saying it because I’ve got it good at the moment and me being ungrateful about it is going to fuck it up but I’m going to end up doing it anyway because I always do and everyone around me keeps telling me they can’t imagine me fucking up but no one wants to think of their friends fucking up. I don’t even really know what I taking about but I just feel shitty right now for no reason.
disney movies in tweets - frozen
Eugene I love you
Eugene has his priorities straight.
kleptomaniacs don’t understand puns because they take everything literally
i was pulling up to a gas station and mumford came on the radio so i started blasting it in my car and all the people can hear with my doors closed is just the base and theyre looking at me like “wtf inappropriate rap song is that girl listening to” and i open my car door and out comes the sound of a really aggressive banjo solo